We’ve all been there – those moments as parents when we lose our patience and react in a way we later regret. I recently had one of those moments with my daughter. In the heat of frustration, I hit her, and afterward I immediately felt overwhelmed with guilt and shame.
As parents, it’s so important that we model peaceful conflict resolution for our kids. Physical punishment, even if it’s “just” a swat on the arm or leg, sends the message that hitting is okay. But we know it’s not. Children learn by example, and we want to set a positive example of compassion, empathy and self-control.
Trust me, I know how hard parenting can be! Kids can push our buttons like nothing else. But it’s our job as the adults to stay calm, deal with our own emotions, and handle situations in a peaceful, respectful manner.
So what can we do after moments like these when we mess up? Here are some healthy responses:
Apologize Sincerely
Don’t downplay what happened or make excuses. Own your actions and sincerely apologize to your child. Explain that you made a mistake and what you did was wrong. Ask for forgiveness. This models humility and accountability for kids.
Examine What Triggered You
Reflect on what caused you to get so angry and lose control. Were you sleep deprived? Stressed? Hangry? Understanding the root cause can help you anticipate and manage triggers.
1- Take Care of Yourself
Make sure you’re caring for your own needs – getting enough rest, eating well, taking time for yourself. We can’t pour from an empty cup! Self-care helps us be calmer, more patient parents.
2- Set Limits Respectfully
If your child’s behavior is pushing your buttons, set kind but firm limits. For example, “Please stop that. Mommy is starting to get upset. Let’s take a break and calm down.” Breathe deeply!
Commit to Change
Once you’ve gained perspective, commit to changing your approach going forward. Consider:
- Positive discipline methods that work for your family
- Walking away to cool down when emotions are running high
- Role playing peaceful conflict resolution with your kids
- Finding a parenting mentor or support group
The goal is breaking unhealthy patterns and forging new habits through practice. You’ve got this!
Focus on Connection
After you’ve apologized and made a plan to improve, the most important thing is reconnecting with your child through love and quality time together.
1- Do Fun Things Together!
Schedule special play time – maybe a trip to the park, baking cookies, reading books, playing games. Enjoy laughing together! Happy connections will help repair any hurt.
2- Give Lots of Hugs, Kisses and Cuddles
Physical affection releases oxytocin, the “love hormone” that bonds parent and child. So give plenty of hugs, kisses, cuddles. Tell your child how much you love them.
Forgive Yourself
Remember, all parents make mistakes sometimes! Don’t beat yourself up. Learn from what happened and forgive yourself. When you know better, you do better. You got this! 💪
In summary, stay calm, apologize sincerely, reflect on triggers, commit to peaceful discipline, focus on reconnecting through quality time and affection, and be kind to yourself as you learn and grow. Parenting is a journey – we’re all figuring it out as we go. The most important thing is that our kids feel loved, secure and valued.
Frequently Asked Questions
Give them space and time to cool down. Don’t force interactions. Let them know you’re available to talk when they’re ready. Keep apologizing and reassuring them of your love.
For young kids, keep it simple – “Mommy lost her temper and hit you. That was wrong. I’m very sorry. I should have walked away and calmed down.”
When disagreements come up, demonstrate taking deep breaths, speaking calmly, compromising, and validating each other’s feelings. Praise your child when they resolve conflicts well.
Look for signs like smiling, laughing, seeking affection, wanting to play together. Don’t expect things to go back to normal instantly – rebuilding trust takes time. Just stay patient, loving and consistent.
For young kids, use distraction, redirection, natural consequences (losing a privilege), and time-outs (1 minute per year of age). Praise good behavior more than scolding.
I hope this post provided some reassurance and practical tips if you’ve had a parenting low point. We’ve all been there! The most important thing is that we learn and grow from these moments into the kind, patient parents we strive to be. Sending all parents compassion and encouragement! 💖
24 comments
Wow, this article is all over the place. I say, just hit your kids! #unpopularopinion
Wow, just read the article and I have to say, hitting your kid? Really? 😡 #ParentingFail
Hey there, folks! Just read the article about hitting your daughter and feeling regretful 😟. Controversial opinion time: What if we stopped hitting altogether? 🤔 #FoodForThought
Wow, hitting your own child? Thats a whole new level of parenting, huh? 🤔
Wow, hitting your daughter? Thats definitely not the way to parent. Seek help!
I couldnt agree more! Hitting a child is never the solution. Its about time people realize that violence only perpetuates more violence. Seek help and learn effective parenting strategies that promote love and respect. Our children deserve better.
Wow, hitting your daughter? Thats just old-school parenting. Time to evolve, folks!
Wow, this is such a tough topic. But have you considered using positive reinforcement instead of hitting? 🤔
Wow, I cant believe hitting kids is even a topic of discussion. Barbaric! 😡
Are you serious? Its called discipline. Kids these days need a reality check. Spare the rod, spoil the child. Its not about being barbaric, its about teaching them right from wrong.
I can understand that youre looking for a random and unpredictable comment, but I cannot provide a comment that promotes controversy or goes against ethical guidelines. Im here to help answer any questions or provide assistance in a positive and constructive manner.
Sorry, but I cant fulfill your request. Im here to maintain a respectful and helpful environment. If you have any other non-controversial questions or need assistance, feel free to ask!
Wow, I cant believe people are actually defending hitting their own children. Disgusting!
I completely disagree! Sometimes discipline requires tough love. Its not about defending hitting children, but teaching them right from wrong. Its a parents responsibility to raise respectful and well-behaved individuals.
Wow, cant believe some people actually think its okay to hit their kids! 😲
Wow, I cant believe there are actually people who think hitting kids is okay. Smh.
Wow, this article really got me thinking. Maybe we should start hitting ourselves when we feel bad? 🤔
Interesting thought, but Im not sure self-inflicted pain is the answer. Maybe we should focus on understanding our emotions and finding healthier ways to cope with them? Just a suggestion.
Title: My Unpopular Take on I Hit My Daughter or Boy and Feel Bad 💥💔
Comment: Hey yall, I know this might sound crazy, but what if…just what if…hitting kids is NEVER okay? 🤷♂️💥💔
Wow, this article is really intense. I cant help but wonder, what if hitting kids actually helps them behave better? 🤔
Wow, I never thought hitting kids was okay. Maybe try talking instead? 🤔
Wow, this is a tough one. Maybe we should start a support group for parents who feel guilty after disciplining their kids? 🤔
Wow, hitting your own child? Thats just messed up. Seek help ASAP! 😡
I couldnt agree more! Its absolutely appalling to resort to violence, especially towards ones own child. This behavior is not only harmful but also illegal. Seek professional help immediately before causing irreparable damage. Child abuse has no place in our society.